I now pronounce you Husband and Whale

The clock strikes nine, and I’m doing fine,
But I feel chills, running down my spine

Things happened so soon, Damn the stupid moon,
Yes, you may eat my ass. Here’s a spoon.

I must confess, I didn’t think she’d say yes,
And now everything’s a bloody mess.

She’s a beast, and she’s waiting to feast,
Oh, why didn’t I just become a priest?

This really isn’t my thing, because I just wanted a fling
And if I try hard, I can almost hear them sing,

“Here comes the bride, 50 inches wide,
She didn’t fit down the aisle, so she came along the side.”

To the window I hop, it’s a 20-foot drop,
And while I search for some rope, I just stop.

We made love by the pool. She was really cool,
Oh, why do I falter? “It’s love you fool!”

I live ahead a few years, I realise my worst fears,
A 10-pound baby, constantly in tears

Oh no! I jump, and land on my rump,
I think I fell on a small wooden stump

I guess things turned out fair, I can still smell her hair,
As I carry her across the threshold, on my wheelchair.

***********************************************************

All written text is copyright of the writer/owner - © Arvind